love

My husband, James, sent me a text the other day in response to a calendar question. I plan my schedule months in advance for work. “Is there anything happening I need to know about in February?” I asked him.

“The person I love most in the world is having a birthday,” he replied

I keep thinking about that text. It meant so much to me. Unplanned, off-the cuff words that shot straight back at me when I was not expecting them. We’ve had some rough years where we wanted different things, struggled with communication, had some intractable issues that seemed impossible to overcome. But we did. We worked through the hard seasons. It makes our commitment more special that we have struggled. We take each other for granted far less than we did in the past. We will have been married 25 years this December.  I know he meant those words. I am the person he loves most in the world. He is the person I love most in the world. It makes me feel invincible to have this love. I feel that everything will work out, even when it’s hard, when I have him.

*Hill Country, Texas*

Ripples of Hope

Words are powerful. I’ve always believed that through our expression of thoughts and ideas we can change ourselves and others. I’ve been reading this fantastic book of famous civil right speeches. It gives me hope that even in the hour of our darkest moments in history the words of brave men and women have brought sanity, hope, light, revolution, and change.

The book begins with an apt quote by Robert F Kennedy:

Each time a man stands up for an ideal,

or acts to improve the lot of others,

or strikes out against injustice,

he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,

and crossing each other from a million

different centers of energy and daring,

those ripples build a current which can sweep down

the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance

 

In addition, the words I have read by all of you have inspired me greatly. I am grateful for this community of writers which has spurred me to articulate my thoughts. May our words never go unwritten.

 

*Denver 2019*

 

 

Remade

The concept of resiliency intrigues me. Why are some people able to rise above all sorts of hardships and others sink into themselves? I came from an abusive home and it gave me resolve to treat my children with love and care.  The religion that was forcibly fed to me made me question, think, and choose my faith in a different manner. My journey took years and perhaps a more healthy individual would see life more directly and with less angst and skepticism. But the difficulties I encountered that shattered me left the world multifaceted with a million prisms of light. It opened up possibilities. Endings became beginnings (I borrow this idea from another blogger whom I conversed with today). I feel damaged and scarred but also remade.

*Oregon 2019*

Home

Home is not a place but a place inside ourselves that brings belonging. It is showing up and keeping in touch. It is forgiving. It is giving back. It is banding together and never abandoning each other.  It is a love and bond that is tenuous and strong. Home is people who stand by each other, for good and bad, in sickness and in health, through orneriness and peace, bound together through love not always like, showing loyalty and showing up in each other’s lives. Home isn’t a house. It exists in our family and friends. It is where those we love are. 

*Los Altos, California 2019*