Wouldn’t it be easy
If I loved him the way he loves me
Or perhaps loved myself the way he loves me
I chase the stardust of those I am not destined to have
And when I cannot keep up anymore
I am left in the darkness, trying all too hard to make myself smaller
In my emptiness it comes for me
You, my demon, who I hate
Who I love
You are a part of me
You make me my worst self
But you keep me honest
Wrap me, my enemy, my friend
Wrap your arms around me
Entangle yourself in my mind
You say, “Be better. You can be better.”
And I believe you, because we are one in the same.
I know you’re right.
I deserve to be punished
You said it so it must be true
There is no use in trying to fight you off
Because in a sick, twisted way I need you
And I know you’ll never leave me
People are fleeting. But you are constant.
That is why I listen
I will punish myself for you
Until I faint
Until my heart gives out
Until maybe someday you take me
And I will hate you for taking my life away from me
And I will thank you for taking my life away from me
I’m not sure I even want it anyways.
But I am too coward to take it from myself
In the end it doesn’t really matter.
For I don’t matter among the seven billion others.
All living with their own demons
Humans aren’t so different after all, I suppose.
…written by daughter and guest author, Gabby