Broken

born into dirt
depression child
oldest and made to be the slaughter child
the rabbits, chickens, dogs and kittens ran from you
outhouse in the back
the dirt feeding your family
your family’s shack
stressed father
soft spoken mother
who didn’t speak up for you
you learned the fist and the belt
the father who ruled
didn’t know how to love you softly or kindly
in the oppressive endless want
the never ending need
was often cruel
you learned to be cruel
to beat your animals
to kindle fear
to harbour rage
control things with the power of your fists
you were broken
and didn’t heal
love was not a soft and lovely thing
but a hard lust
your mind was broken
to enjoy fear in others
to hurt
to try to break as you were broken
I mourn for you my friend
the road you followed led you
to a prison
to a boat alone in a vast ocean
to ideas but not to people
to illusion
if only you could have resisted
spoke the truth of your life
sought to love softly and with kindness
instead of eating anger, loving fear and finding the fist

5 thoughts on “Broken

    1. Matt, thank you, I felt a bit of regret suggesting read it! I felt a bit pushy in retrospect. My childhood had many wonderful things and certainly not all bad. My father was an avid reader and talented writer and got his degree in journalism in his mid 40’s. He kept an enormous library filled with Shakespeare, Keats, O’Henry and many many others. He had a irrepressable urge for adventure that took us all over the United States and I grew up in many different environments and cultures. In many ways, I am very much like him. He could never break the cycle of violence, however. It was sporadic and I think centered around his lack of self-regulation and self esteem. We always lived in fear of the cycle. We (kids) knew he was not safe. I am just sad for him, and for us. He could have been so much more. But, I am a firm believer in talking about childhood abuse and never hiding what happened. When things are brought into the light there is less chance of the cycle being repeated. As you yourself have said many times, we just write. No need to comment, or even empathize. But words have power and your piece on this topic resonated with me. Thanks for reading Broken!:)

      Liked by 1 person

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